Choices.

Last December, I was set on not attending Fall semester 2011 in Hawaii.
Rather, I would be spending my semester in Jerusalem, Israel.
This, I was sure of.

Remember when I went to NYC last March? I was there during the deadline for Jerusalem.
Right before I left, I was getting everything ready to apply, so I could just submit my application right away from NY.
While I was getting all that ready, I had a distinct feeling that I should not apply.

I did not like that one bit. I had been planning on going to Jerusalem for months now. I had researched it, talked to people who had gone, and told my family and friends my plan on going. Every time I thought about going to Jerusalem, I felt really good about it. But when it came down to actually going and applying, I started feeling that I needed to stay exactly where I was... in Hawaii.

So I went to New York. And I didn't send in my application. The deadline came and went. And I was okay with it.
If I were going to Jerusalem for Fall like I had originally planned, I would have been on a plane, on my way to the Holy Land on August 30. And when that day came, I couldn't help but feel a little bit of jealousy. I really, really wanted to go. I could be there right now.

But I had to give myself a reality check the other day. For reasons beyond my own, there is a reason why I need to be in Hawaii for Fall. I'm not sure why that is, but Hawaii is where I am suppose to be right now in my life. And in Hawaii, of all places! Hawaii is not a bad place to be.

Isn't it interesting how the choices we make everyday determine what will happen to us in both big and little ways? I could be living in a different country right now. But with each decision we make, we need to decide if we can live with those decisions. And I don't know if I could live with making a decision to go to Jerusalem when I knew I was going against my intuition to stay in Hawaii. And I don't like living with What ifs.

So right now in my life, I will be attending Fall semester in Hawaii. And I feel really good about that.

BUT, I still plan on going to the Jerusalem Center for a semester. It just happens to be that right now is not that time.

listening to: Gavin DeGraw- I Don't Want To Be.