I have always had a strong connection towards music. It's my outlet from the world when I feel stressed. It always seems to speak to me when I cannot find the words to say how I feel. This week has been an AC/DC+Guns N Roses week for me. It was more about the music than the actual words for me this time. Sometimes the guitar is all I need to get out the emotion stirring inside of me.
As I was feeling stressed, I went to the beach (as always) to find my inner peace. It always works. I have never left the beach feeling worse than when I had come. Something about the sun, ocean and breeze always makes me feel better. I was at waimea, and I thought how this is the place I seem to escape to. How watching the waves come in and out helps stimulate my mind. How staring far out into the ocean where the solid blue line of water and sky drowns away my problems as I leave them as far out there as I can, so I no longer can see them. Then the song paradise by coldplay popped into my head with the lines:
When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach so
She ran away in her sleep
and dreamed of
Para-para-paradise, Para-para-paradise, Para-para-paradise
Every time she closed her eyes.
I realized that right now, I can easily escape to my own paradise because I'm living it. But when I leave, I know that north shore will be the paradise I will long for and will dream of once I leave Hawaii. And that's when the thought occurred to me: I don't think I can ever live in a place without an ocean. I'm actually being quite serious. I know that I lived without one for 20 years, but I don't know if I could go 20 more. Which leaves my future with fewer options than I did before I moved to Hawaii. I have officially changed.
listening to: AC/DC-You Shook Me All Night Long.
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